Day 37/Day 13: Does staying sober get easier?

Life is crazy these days. I’ve been busy as hell trying to juggle Journal articles, having to photograph ski events all weekend, and training for my upcoming marathon. Not to mention fitting in quality catch-up time with friends.

I went to Truckee Sunday evening to spend the night with Saniah and Nina.  It’s been a while since I’ve had to relive the pain of that the evening 37 nights ago, which naturally led to some crying.

It was cathartic, and it was healing.

What was amazing, also, was that Nina and Saniah then opened up about their own recent pain and struggles. It felt good to be able to be upfront and honest about our messy, imperfect lives, and to be able to have the chance to be there to support each other.

I also had an amazing evening with Karl. My journey in recovery, mindfulness. and presenc has really helped me be of service to others in the sense that I can better observe, understand and empathize.

I also had a wonderful conversation with Karl when he opened up about still feeling insecure about our relationship bump of last year when I kissed someone else. It was SO interesting to feel very detatched from the statement (as in not taking it personally or put a label on it) which enabled me to observe it objectively and with compassion. I mean, all this work I’ve been doing in my sobriety and spiritual recovery has come into play in so many other ways! I’ve realized that in doing so, I can more effectively work through the problem or situaiton at hand. It has been such a HUGE blessing.

I must also say that this journey into vegaism has been a big part of my recovery as well. I don’t exactly understand the relationship between the two, but I know for sure that it has played a role in my spiritual recovery and well-being.

I think deciding to abide by a nutrition plan for reasons that are of service to something greater than myself is a big component of that.

Anyways, I’ve had a few minor flare-ups. I smelled wine at a wine-tasting for work and immediately the alcoholic thoughts came rushing. The wine (pinot noir, my fave) smelled SO GOOD. So much nostalgia and a desire for a taste. Also, a tiny bit of feeling bummed I couldn’t enjoy a bit. But then I got over it and forgot about it 30 minutes later. Luckily, I am having so many awesome spiritual experiences that trump any boozy experience.

Alrighty. I gotta go to work. Then train for marathon. Then do more journal work. Hopefully I have some time to do some Mindful Recovery reading this evening.


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