Sorry I haven’t been writing in here as much. I’m trying something new.
Every day, I hand write a love note to myself.
Wow. That sounds so ….. foofy. And, like, narcassistic?
But hear me out!
I write all kinds of love notes to myself. I write love notes to my future long-term recovered self, “Hey, Laura, how’s two years feel? I’m soooooo excited and proud of you for sticking it through this long! Thank you so much!.”
I write love notes to my yesterday self, “I know you struggled at Live at Lakeview. I realize you were feeling inadequate, and I totally understand. I feel that way too. But you made it through! You had fun! You ARE strong, you ARE capable. And I love you SO much!”
And then I write love notes to my current self FROM my future self (you still with me on this?), “Hey, I know you’re feeling kind of sad today. Scared, too. Escaping sounds soooo good right now. But thank you for honoring me in not choosing to drink. I can assure you you have so much to look forward too. I am THRIVING in sobriety, and I wouldn’t have made it here today if it wasn’t for all those small choice you are making now.”
Sometimes I cry, because there’s really no better feeling than feeling loved and understood in my struggle, even if it’s from my (imaginary?) self. I also like this because I can channel my wiser self, but also allow my inner child to express her fears and shortcomings without judgement.
Yeah, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m basically talking to myself these days. Haha!
Oh recovery, you bring out the kook in me. And I love it.